[freedom/bondage]

i want to touch on something that just happened yesterday, that regards freedom, especially as we honor the freedom of our country.

what follows is what i wrote down in response to what someone who claims Christianity said about the case and the jury.

to those upset by the verdict of the casey anthony trial.

rather than point fingers at the jury, i want you to have to sit locked away in a hotel room, without any family, friends, or outside communication. you have no e-mail, no facebook, no cellphone. do that for 10+ months while listening to psychologically devastating descriptions of this trial. if you don't go so insane that you wind up in a mental hospital, then try and decide what to do. have a little slack on the jury. and plus, you didn't sit through every bit of evidence, do you really think you know any better what happened? And for those "Christians" who are lambasting the jury with names i would never want to be associated with, uh, go read romans 12:19. If this was a mistake, then do you really think God would let her get away with it? i mean, if the jury did make a mistake, forgive them, unless you want to be judged the same way.

what does it mean to be free? regardless of whether casey anthony was guilty of murder or not(and i'm not here to tell you my opinions), the case was tried and the verdicts read.

......for those of you who think she was guilty and the jury messed up.......

do you [really] think that God is not in control?

......for those of you who think she not guilty and justice was done.......

do you [really] think that she is "free"?

the bondage that casey anthony will now live with the rest of her life, is arguably worse than the bondage of prison that she would have faced.

casey anthony will now be marked by society with a scarlet letter, as the "baby killer who got away"

...and you know what? to all you "Christians" who are saying these terrible things about both the jury and about casey anthony?

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"let the one who is without sin cast the first stone".

those are the words of Jesus, for a woman who was [convicted] of a capital crime; adultery.

there was no shadow of a doubt.

some even say that it was a set-up; a "sting-operation" if you will.

• before you blame the jury for a bad verdict...
• before you condemn a woman with a past...

if.you.call.yourself.a.christian... (which means, by definition, you are a CHRIST-follower)

then walk as your teacher did.

"and if she really is guilty?" you ask...?

then trust that the God in heaven will deal with her.

today, casey anthony still sits in bondage. she has a jail term to serve for her lies to the police. but she also has the bondage of a judgmental society.

christians...you don't have to like her. but you DO have to love her.

In His Grip,

jonathan

[church/religion]

when i don't know how to start a blog, we might as well start with dictionary definitions of the terms that i want to talk about, right?

so...

church

1. a building for pubic Christian worship

2. public worship of God or religious service in such a building

and

religion

1. a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe

2. a fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by persons

okay, all good and well(so to speak), two terms that for many people evoke passionate(violent?) emotions. these terms form the basis of many a discussion, argument, debate, writing, etc. these are terms that so many people get caught up with, without ever really knowing what they are even talking about. in their hurry to get out opinions [or even to just hear their own voices], people flippantly use these terms in ways that they often dont understand.

now bear with me.

i know i did a posting on the difference between being [religious] and [spiritual]. this is different. what i want to look at is the (apparent lackof) contrast between the church: building, and religion: beliefs.

to start off with, [church].

dictionary.com offers up a fine definition of what church is, and for most people, this is a definition that would suffice. church is a place we go to, it is what happens on sunday morning, and is full of opinionated people, on the topic of religion.

Yay, perfect segway into [religion].

dictionary.com offers up (yet again) a fine definition of religion, as a set of beliefs that many people hold in common.

where is the contrast you ask? just drive into west michigan, specifically ottawa county on a given sunday, and walk to a street corner. chances are, three of the four street corners will have a church on them (seriously, not an exaggeration), but each of the churches will have a different denomination.

• CRC (christian reformed church)
• RCA (reformed church in america)
• URC (united reformed church)
• PRC (protestant reformed church)
• AoG (assembly of God)

(alphabet soup anyone? this'll make your head spin... http://www.abbreviations.com/acronyms/RELIGION)

now. for those of you not familiar with the scrabble scramble that occurs on sundays in a town with more than one church denomination, basically it goes something like this.

1. pick a denomination (which basically is just a grouping of churches that share similar beliefs on non-salvation [or not] issues)
2. make your family go to that denomination
3. hate every other denomination and tell people why your denomination is better
4. indoctrinate your children to do the same.
5. repeat
6. (optional) cause a church schism if the church does something you don't like. make sure to yell really loud.

now do you see the problem? church provides the [means] and religion provides the [opportunity] to cause some of the largest and nastiest fights in history.

think

• the crusades?
• the kkk?
• abortion clinic bombings?
• westboro baptist church?

now don't get me wrong, not all churches start blowing up buildings. personally, i think denominations are a great way for churches with similar styles to come together to poll resources and work together. not all church styles fit all types of people, and thats okay. God made us unique and different (tower of babel anyone?). the problem is, we get so caught up in trying to be [better] and have the flashiest worship "celebrations" or the most orthodox liturgy, or the most active spiritual workings, that we fail to acknowledge the God behind those things...AND what that God commands of us to do in worship.

however...

an oft quoted passage by progressive christians who try and argue for destruction of denominations and of religion and of big church meetings often cite James 1:27

"religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world"

the fundamental problem with throwing out religion and church in favor of the teachings of the apostle james is that this was not the point of james at all. if we were to throw out anything that is [difficult], we shouldnt be in the service of christianity at all.

instead of abandoning the church and religious culture, we need to fix it. brothers and sisters, rather than running away and (God forbid) start a new post-modern church denomination of "pure and faultless religion", apply II Timothy 3:16 and use the scripture you have. fix the broken. after all, christianity is all about fixing broken lives through Jesus, right?

As famed religious critic sir elton john has said 'religion has the tendency to turn normal, rational human beings into hateful lemmings [editor's note: must be a british term]'. and he is right, if we keep bickering over where to place the pulpet, instead of helping the 50 babies that have died in the last five minutes that it has taken you to read this blog posting...

In His Grip,

-J

[love/love]

contrasting?

maybe.

how can love and love be contrasting?

well, simple. the Bible talks about the word love in a plethora of ways (well, actually only two...but go with me).

for Christians, one of the most commonly cited passages about love is [1 cor 13]. this is what's often known as the "love chapter", and defines what love is and what love is not.

for your reference...

Love is:

• patient
• kind

It:

• does not envy
• does not boast
• is not proud
• is not rude
• is not self-seeking
• is not easily angered
• keeps no record of wrongs

Love does not:

• delight in evil but rejoices in truth

Love always:

• protects
• trusts
• hopes

***1 corinthians 13:4-7 niv***

okay, that's good and all...

but what about my love for [warm chocolate chip cookies]?

nothing beats (at least in my mind), a freshly baked, crispy-on-the-outside-chewy-on-the-inside, gooey, chocolate chip cookie. so good.

crap, i'm hungry now...must focus.

anyways, would i say that my love for such a heavenly delight really fall under this definition of love?

well....

• i certainly envy its deliciousness
• i am definitely not kind to it when i eat it.... o.O
• any chocolate chip cookie out of the oven doesn't have a hope in the world of lasting longer than 5 minutes....
• the list (and my bad humor) can go on and on...i think you get the point.

the point is, we throw around the word [love] too flippantly.

in 1 corinthians 13:4-7, the root of the word "love" is greek, and comes from the word ἀγάπη which in english translates to something like "agape". this type of "agape" love is not foreign to many Christians, but i'll define it roughly for those who don't know what it means.

agape love: a self-sacrificing love. a love for something where a person would die rather than give up or break the bonds of love. [the type of love God has for us]

dear friends, in the words of the apostle john, the [disciple whom Jesus loved...]

"this is [agape] love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins".

---------------

wait.

i said there was at least two types of love in the Bible. you're right. the greeks actually had [four] words for love in their language:

• agape (unconditional),
• eros (erotic),
• storge (family love) and
• philia (brotherly love, casual).

the Bible uses agape as seen in the corinthians passage, and also uses philia in passages like romans 12:10. there are also examples of eros and storge in the Bible but are not specifically called that.

my point?

my brothers and sisters, we are called to LOVE by our great God, who LOVED US FIRST. but what does that mean? shallow relationships with hundreds of people who we "love" about as much as i love chocolate chip cookies?

i dont think so.

i feel we are called to LOVE deeply, to invest in each other and in friendships. it takes a lot of work and it can be painful at times. but in the words of mumford and sons:

"where you invest your LOVE, you invest your LIFE".

i'm wrapping up my time here at camp Michindoh for YoungLife, and have seen literally hundreds of campers walk through here who have never experienced the love of the Father, or deep spiritual love. they have been told they are "loved" even, but when push comes to shove, they are the ones shoved aside. brothers and sisters, we have a responsibility to love. let's not let that pass away, much less that the Father would do the same...

In His Grip,

Jonathan

[story]

this one doesn't have a contrasting title, because i don't think [words] can describe what i have to say...

i have been working at a younglife camp since the beginning of june in hillsdale, michigan, at a camp called [michindoh]. i'm on the music team, as well as one of the four people who tell their life-story in front of all 250+ kids every week for an event known as lifesigns. it is the hope of those running camp that by us telling [our story] that the kids can relate and realize that [their story] is really just part of the [big story], and that they are not alone.

i've been completely taken aback by this experience.

as part of our assignment, we greet every single camper and leader as they get off the bus (there were 308 this week). we give each and every one of them a high five or a hug as they get off the bus and start at the camp welcome. i saw every single camper get off that bus and walk into a place where, for the first time, some of them had

• walls broken down
• the [truth] poured into them
• been told for the first time that someone LOVES them.

throughout this week, i've had several campers and leaders come up to me and tell me about their lives; about the emotional pain they feel, the sense of hopelessness that they have inside.

its hard.

it really is hard.

i remember being at that point of helplessness, where trapped between reality and madness there was only room for heartache. never in a million years could you have told me that, five years ago, in the pit of my own despair, would i ever have the opportunity to tell my [story].

if you are reading this, know that you are not alone.

there is a GOD out there who cares for you, who wants to know you.

its not about [my story] or [your story] or [anybody's story].

its about [HIS story]

and in his ending, you are the winner.

always winning,

-J

[drunk/sober]

this is the epitome of contrast, if you ask me.

the very definition of being drunk means to be [not] sober

while

the very definition of being sober means to be [not] drunk

its usually pretty easy to tell if a person is drunk versus sober, given their contrasting nature.

i mean...

we've all seen those TV shows where the cop pulls someone over, whose clearly as inebriated as humanly possible...who, while falling out of their car, is telling the cop that "no officer ma'am, i haven't been drinking tonight..."

yeah....clearly, not drinking.

it is the [actions] of the person that define drunkenness and sobriety, not their [words].

the same is true for Christian spirituality.

1. it the the actions of a Christian, not their words that define love [1 John 3:18]
2. it is possible to be [drunk] or [sober] as a Christian, in the spiritual sense [1 Cor. 12-14]

there is a sharp /divide/ in Christianity today, between those sober in spirit and those drunk in the spirit. while this might be considered an interesting way to describe Christianity, there is evidence for both in the Scriptures.

evidence for being sober [in the spirit]:

1. 1 Peter 5:8 [be sober-minded]

2. Galatians 5:21 [...drunkenness...and things like these...will not inherit the Kingdom of God]

3. etc.

evidence for being drunk [in the spirit]:

1. Acts 2 [the actions of the disciples at Pentecost, to the point where Peter had to distinguish between their actions]

2. Nehemiah 8:10 [the joy of the Lord is our strength, that is, the joy of the Spirit]

3. etc.

trust me, this is an argument to end all arguments, and is one of the major schism points in the church. i have been on both extreme ends of this debate, and can definitely see and understand both points of it.

but whats the point of it?

is it really worth getting worked up over the [power of the Spirit], and how it manifests itself?

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absolutely!

we should be [utterly] concerned about how the Spirit manifests itself.

i want, i desire to see the Spirit move in power. if the Spirit of God moves people to actions of extreme joy, who am i to limit its power? Scripture is also very clear on the gifts and workings of the Spirit and they are [real] and they are [powerful].

if God made us [fly] or [walk on water] or be [completely self controlled], He would completely be in the right to do so. that is his [control] and i want to rest in it.

so for me, its not about being [drunk] or [sober].

its about being [in the Spirit].

[traditional/contemporary]

yup. we're talking about worship styles.

this is a topic i could go on and on and on and on and on about...

when discussing worship, one must be very careful when deciding any of the following. note this is not an exclusive list.

• to clap or not to clap?
• to raise hands or not to raise hands?
• organ?
• drums?
• choir or praise team? or both?
• hymnals or projection screens?
• too fast or too slow?
• too loud or too quiet?
• spontaneous or deliberate? or spontaneously deliberate?
• stand up or sit down? kneel? dance?

clearly, this idea of worship style is greater than one church staff meeting. discerning the style of worship appropriate for church takes lots of time, prayer, and thought...the first question being, "what does it mean for this to 'fit' my church"?

is this really "my" church?

does my opinion matter?

should it matter?

why?

as you can see...this question tends to spawn off multiple threads and roots, many of which lead the discussion so far off topic that by the time people are done shouting at each other, we're left a larger mess than the one we started with.

problem.

definitely a problem.

as a worship leader, this is something i have struggled with for a long time. and to be forthright, i don't have the answers. there will always be people who disagree with me, and i, them. i can tell you that God does not like quarreling [titus 3:9-10].

so what am i doing, writing on worship styles, if i'm not trying to explain or understand the various intricacies behind them?

simple.

i want to tell you

its not about you.

the way you worship.....and the way you like to worship....

are two totally separate things.

the way we should worship is laid out for us in [john 4:24]

"God is Spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth"

the way we like to worship....

can vary.

the things that matter are....

1.) are we actually worshiping? because we are commanded to.

2.) is our preference for worship style getting in the way?

...because then that means our preferences are more important than following God.

....whoops.

i once had a worship leader talk to me about styles of worship. she said,

"jonathan, if you are in the congregation and you don't like the song playing, the style, whatever it might be...what should you be doing? it better not be sulking and complaining that you can't 'feel' God enough. God is all around you and you will experience Him whether you want to or not. at the very least, make sure you are praying for the people around you who are experiencing God right now. don't you dare let an opportunity to worship the Almighty God pass you by."

wow.

its less about style...and more about worship.

and if you have the chance to worship the Almighty God, i definitely would take it...would you?

-j

[religious/spiritual]

apologies to those waiting on a new post. i recently moved and don't have internet hooked up, so i have to write when i make it into a coffee shop.

recently in america, we hear more and more of individuals who are not "religious" but are "spiritual". now i grew up in a closed off religious community, so this notion of a difference between these two ideas was hard to grasp. in fact, i didn't believe there was such a thing...choosing instead to believe that people with this notion that there was a difference were just stupid.

whoops.

basically, there is quite a difference, as i was told. getting the two mixed up would be like calling a korean person japanese(for the record, don't. we like being asked our ethnicity, rather than being told it).

religious refers to being extremely devoted to a belief system or idea.

spiritual refers to things relating to the spiritual aspect of life.

quite different. thanks dictionary.com

now, i have heard both "christians" and "non-christians" alike fall into this notion of being "spiritual" and not "religious". specifically, the argument falls along the lines of 'not wanting to be tied down to a church bureaucracy'. these "spiritual" individuals want to be free, and not tied down.

and you know what? it works.

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for a time.

go with me on this. a "christian" defines oneself as spiritual, not religious. reasons for being so are being disillusioned with the orthodoxy and stifling traditions that are not culturally relevant. this individual wants to worship God and be connected on a spiritual level, ergo is "spiritual".

now picture this. a "christian" defines oneself as religious, not spiritual. reasons for being so are following the traditions and orthodoxies of the past, learning from the wisdom of those who have gone before. this individual wants to worship God and be connected on a level more than just that of "how the spirit leads", but wants to be deeply rooted in Word, ergo is "religious".

who's "right"?

i'll give you a hint. they both are....

sorta.

• is it the "spiritual" person who dislikes wordy traditions and orthodoxy and instead wants to go as the Spirit moves (like Jesus, not the pharisees)?
• is it the "religious" person who dislikes how people will just "go with the Spirit" even when there is clear historical and Biblical precedent that such behavior is wrong?

again i ask...

who's right?

clearly, its two halves of the same whole.

there is evidence where religious teachings and laws are broken, because God commanded it (Hosea, taking an adulterous wife?).

there is evidence where "moving with the Spirit" was clearly unbiblical (jim jones?)

to get caught up in being religious or spiritual is silly. if you love God, you are both.

-j

[pastors/prostitutes]

church.

church.

a word with lots of connotations and meanings behind it.

take 15 seconds. what are the first words/images/sounds/smells/thoughts that come to mind?

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time's up.

this is what i imagined.

church basically refers to a building, a congregation, things associated with all that. what images does that conjure up? in the general lexicon of things, it tends to be images of a white-washed building set on a perennially-sunny hill, complete with old-fashioned(anachronistic?) steeple.

i imagine families young and old, wearing their sunday-best(more than just jeans that is), coming out the front doors at noon, talking and laughing, complete with "amazing grace" being plunked out on the organ behind them in postlude. i see children, running around, and mamas scolding them to 'get out of the dust and dirt before you soil your pants!'.

i smell church potlucks and ham-on-bun(for those of you who haven't grown up in dutch west michigan, you are missing out...). i hear the voices of a preacher, droning on through a religious key-note(in truth, the three-point sermon), while children fidget, mothers elbowing them to keep quiet, all while the father dozes in the warm sunlight streaming through the stained-glass windows.

i know church.

i know the traditions, and the language, and the atmosphere. i know that these are the images of church that most people imagine when they think of church.

....right?

i mean, that's what i think of.

....okay, i guess there is some exploitation that goes on....

....and i guess you could convince me that we are a little quick on the judgement....

....fine, i guess you make a point that we don't always practice what we preach....

...and i guess i understand that we could be seen as only caring about bigger and better....

....

....

but come on...we're human too, right?

anyone who knows about advertising knows well enough what to sweep under the rug. we want to present a "good product"! we want you to like us.

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...

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......

.......

okay. i hear you. i get it. church is wrong. we do it all wrong(can you even "do" church?).

we are hypocrites. we are fake. we are messed up people.

and none of that is an excuse.

its an explanation.

for our failure.

if those terms, "hypocrites", "fake", "messed up" are what came to mind when i said what does "church" mean to you, then i am sorry. but its true. all those terms are true, and we can't change it. try as we might, we will never fully practice what we preach. we will never love like we are supposed to. we will always be messed up.

we prostitue ourselves to the world, and we are proud of it, and then rise from the bed of hypocrisy and lies in order to make it to the 9:30 service.

...a little too harsh? perhaps...but the message of God does tend to offend...

Christians.

WAKE UP.

you who are members of the Church with-a-capital-C (the whole body of believers) are prostituting yourselves to the world. i just said it, we want people to "like us"; "like" the way we do church, to "like us" as on facebook. church is not about getting people to like us.

how many pastors do you know who measure their success on the attendance number, and not on the commitment-to-God number?

how many ministries do you know that need bigger budgets, to fly their speakers around in leer-jets? (i have at least 3 if you need examples)

how many christians do you know who have shamed you, broken you, judged you, and hated you because of your

skin color?

political views?

sexual orientation?

past sins?

is this what makes up "church"?

so yes, when i ask you what comes to mind when i say "church", and these are the things that do, you are right. that is what the church has become. a place for prostitutes of the world.

but isn't that the purpose of church, to serve the prostitutes of the world? to be

friends,

neighbors,

pastors,

counselors,

and

shoulders to cry on?

Christians, you want to serve? good! you should. serve the world... but the best way to do that is to make sure your heart is in the right place first. before you go around judging....

....well you know that bible verse at least....

in His grip,

j

job/calling

so i spent the day working at the coffee shop, as opposed to sitting in one. 8-3, not a bad day's shift. pretty steady, not too busy, and easy; given that i've worked there for almost three years now. its a good job- i can take any day off i want, plan my own schedule, get amazing discounts on coffee(which could start a whole other blog posting in and of itself), etc.

i'm pretty content(ha ha) there.

recently though, i was asked, "jonathan, how long do you intend to stay at [insert coffee shop's name here]?"

good question.

do i like having money to put in my gas tank? check.

do i like having something to do rather than sit around all summer? check.

do i like the people i work with? the majority of the time, check.

do i like the coffee? check, check, check!!!

do i have the time? more or less, check.

so why would i leave?

look at the statistics(which i don't have right in front of me at the moment, but bear with me).

%+-2*#~/x

michigan has some of the worst unemployment rates in the country, at times topping the nation in terms of unemployment(i think i heard on fox tonight that florida just surpassed michigan. go figure).

insert [me]. i have the time to spare, want to do it, and am making money. that's what a job is all about, right?

yup.

huh? did you expect some other response? something about how we need to "love our jobs", appreciate them because many people would kill to have one?

well, you're right about that. we do need to love our jobs. there are people who would kill one.

but if the reason i am staying at my job is because it is 1.) convenient to my schedule, 2.) something i like, and 3.) money-making, then i guess my ultimate goals in life are met.

heck, even the Bible talks about people being lazy (its in the Proverbs) and not working. so by society's standard(and according to some, the Bible's standard), having a job means i've arrived.

arrived where though? at ultimate "barista-dom"? is that my purpose, to be the best coffee barista i can be?

i don't think so.

i mean, if everyone took their first job at age 14 or 15 and decided that since, for the most part they could make it work around their schedules, could make it fun, and heaven forbid, make them money, then everyone would still be scrubbing toilets, making ice cream cones, flipping burgers, and delivering newspapers.

now don't get me wrong. there are people who have this calling, and for many people, this may be the only way they can provide for their families. i am not discrediting these jobs at all. in fact, i believe that these people are some of the hardest working individuals in society of all.

but.

i can tell you for certain that my calling(unless God decides to change it) is not as a barista. if we all just stayed with things because they are convenient or make lots of money(or not, if you work my job), there would be no servants of Christ.

what? is that true? would we really all fall away if the only reason for serving God was

out of convenience?

out of profit?

out of ease?

....but isn't that the way the majority of christians(myself included) live?

i'm not going on a mission trip, because it costs too much money?

i'm not going to host a refugee because its one more mouth to feed?

i'm not ministering to _______ because it makes me feel uncomfortable?

but what is that is our calling?

...to move to Honduras?

...to sell everything to support 20 refugees?

...to do a short-term mission trip instead of going on vacation?

...to start a ministry for addicts and social outcasts?

...to quit my job and follow my calling?

[contentment/apathy]

i woke up and bought a futon this morning.

yup. drove out to holland at 9:00 this morning, bought a futon, and am now sipping a "trad-capp" from jp's, in the one booth that has a plug. oh, and i got a parking spot right outside the front door(and for those of you who don't know, that is skill during tulip time).

pretty content right now. its a calm morning, i'm feeling good, just loving on the fact that summer is here. i'm doing pretty okay.

but then i began to wonder.

being content.

what does that really mean?

good old dictionary.com says content is... "satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else"

is that what i am right now? am i satisfied in life right now? at the moment, life is going pretty well, but does that mean i should be content about it? i mean, i could always have more...more money, better grades, more friends, a happier life in general. but at the moment, am i...content?

and moreover, is that the way i should be? is my duty in life to be satisfied? there are always things in the world that are wrong, and things i definitely should not be satisfied with. i will never be satisfied with the injustice in this world.

but i just don't feel that i can do much, does that make me apathetic?

back to dictionary.com

apathy: "absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement"

does that adequately describe my contentment right now? certainly, i feel content sitting here, and definitely don't have much passion, emotion, or excitement right now.

is that okay?

really.

is that okay???

as a Christian, should i be okay, sitting here, absent of passion, emotion, or excitement? or should i be up in arms at the injustice of the world; injustices that i am truly passionate about, but am not motivated at this moment to go solve.

is that okay?

i could justify it by saying i'm taking the morning off, i'm resting in the Lord, i'm on a mini-sabbatical, etc., but do i have to do that?

in all honesty, i don't feel the motivation to get up and justify myself.

is that okay?

i think it is. i mean, even the apostle paul talks about in philippians 4:11-13 how he learned to be content in any and every circumstance, right? its a verse i quote a lot, because its one that up until this morning in my devotion/reflection time did i find a reason to take up issue with it.

here the Word of the Lord from philippians 4:11-13

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

now don't get me wrong, i believe this is the Word of God. but(again)it was my(faulty)view of this passage that inspired such a sense of apathy. paul is not saying that he is content in the way that i am content. for me, content(up until this morning) meant that i could sit back on my laurels every now and then and focus on "me-time". paul is content in that he knows God has ordered his steps; that he is never outside the realm of the Creator. paul knows that he can rest in God and that even in prison, he will(and still) use him to speak words of truth into Christ-followers. that is very different; even if it looks the same. i thought being content meant satisfying myself; being okay with where i am. for paul however, being content means being satisfied in the Father; being okay where he is because God put him there, and knowing that at that moment, he is glorifying God because he is relying on God.

dictionary.com got it right in that sense. paul knows that he needs nothing more and nothing less than God. paul knows that his time on earth is drawing to a close, and he recognizes that all he needs is God. his friends have abandoned him, his freedom has been taken away. he has nothing.

and yet, he has Everything. and he is content about that. he is not without passion(making him apathetic), his direction for passion has just changed; it is fully focused on the God who loves him and guides him through all trials.

is that where i am?

am i okay sitting here, reflecting on the goodness of God, while not moving a step from my comfortable booth and coffee?

i am never "okay" in the sense that i can give up; stop caring. but i know, that so long as i keep my gaze on the Master, that i can be content in all things-not needing anything more. He will order my steps and tell me where to go. that is true passion-to love Him.

and so long as that is the focus, we're never truly apathetic.

in His grip,

j

contrast [unknown/undiscovered]

okay, let's be real.

i could be writing this for my eyes only. i don't expect a mass following or deep philosophical conversations to arise from this blog, nor do i expect that it will hold my interest for more than two weeks. but out of summer boredom, humor me, will you?

the(intended)purpose of this blog is to chart out a map of the unknown. not what is undiscovered, but what has no definite answers. i want to look at black and white issues, and see if there really are more shades of gray to them; how contrasting issues are really(not so)different. in truth, i could be totally barking up the wrong tree on some(or all)of this.

some of these posts will undoubtably have nothing to do with contrast. some of them will be issues that i have a deep opinion on (like God), and others will probably just be random musings of a college student's mind. i want to be real about it up front.

and again, if you are not drawn in by this post and never want to come back, i don't blame you. i'm barely holding my own attention at this point.

in His grip,

j